世世代代永远不要说放弃。How to Be Better at Being Single

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No matter how successful you are in life and business, success doesn’t
give you immunity from humanity. We all have days where we don’t want to
get out of bed. But…what happens when this feeling lasts for days or
weeks or months? What happens when we feel like we’ve lost purpose and
we just want to give up, whether on a career or relationship?

Being single, much like a wrinkle-free neck and the illusion that
nuclear war won’t happen in your lifetime, is something you often don’t
appreciate enough until it’s gone. Many people feel that to be single is
to be alone and to be alone is to be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be
that way. It shouldn’t be that way! Once you’re over the requisite
16-month honeymoon period and you’ve alienated all your friends with
your amorous drivel, you’re going to settle into a nice boring holding
pattern of love. With it will come the realization: Holy shit, I wasted
being single.


It’s easy to do. Even if you enjoyed your Tinder years, by the time
you’re in a solid relationship for a while, some small part of you will
miss the instability and freedom of being Not Taken. So in the meantime,
capitalize on being single by doing the following:

I’ve identified the seven things you need to do when you feel like
giving up.

Indulge your sloth


If you don’t feel like going out, don’t. Stay in and curse modern
dating, as if apps were the reason you can’t meet anyone (it’s
definitely not the fact that you correct everyone about “less” versus
“fewer”). Stay in, order a calzone, and make some good points on Reddit
about the plot holes in Home Alone 2. Or stay out till 2 A.M. with your
second fling of the month. No one cares what you do, and that freedom is
a beautiful thing: No one cares if you get home late, no one cares if
you set your alarm to go off at 6:00, 6:15, 6:22, and 6:30 because you
were out late enjoying someone’s naughty bits and you might oversleep.
Be free!

Go Back To ‘Why’

Get a new hobby


The word “hobby” sucks. Almost nothing you can call a hobby is hot. Once
you call something a hobby, it becomes nerdy. Basically, instead of a
hobby, just work out more. (Kidding! Mostly.)

As Simon Sinek says, it starts with ‘why.’ Occasionally, we start with
one vision in mind and end up moving so far away from why we started a
business, job or relationship in the first place that we end up lost and
questioning our decisions and actions. Maybe you can’t remember the last
time you were happy. Perhaps your big colorful picture of where you
wanted to head has slowly turned to black and white. Get back that
clarity! Every 90 days revisit your big ‘why’ to ensure you’re on track
and achieving what you want.

The good news about being single is that it doesn’t matter what I—or
anyone else—wants you to do with your time or how hot (or not) they find
it. It’s your time. That’s the beauty of being single. It’s all your
time. You don’t have to go watch your partner’s new short film that you
didn’t get and they don’t have to show up to your rec league soccer
games where you get too aggressive and it kind of makes them
uncomfortable. Get your hobbies going now so that you have a full life
once you start dating. You don’t want to be that couple who always is
together all the time, doing couple activities. (The only thing less
sexy than a hobby is a couple activity. Excluding, of course, sex.)


Be active

Learn To Feel Uncomfortable

I know it seems like I keep telling you to work out, but this one isn’t
actually about that. It’s just about staying engaged. Do things that
make you feel good. I’m not suggesting at all that once you start dating
someone any of these things need to stop, but right now you get to eat
what you want every single night. You get to go to the bar you like
every single time. So use all your energy to build up a life you do
want. If you like traveling and can afford it, go somewhere alone. Start
a side business. Buy a new couch without any input from someone else.
Keep your life moving.


Fix yourself

Life is not easy nor is it meant to be. We are always facing hurdles and
obstacles that we must overcome, which is all part of the journey. If
you can accept that things will get tough and it won’t always be roses
and sweet-smelling kittens, you’ll get yourself better prepared for
what’s to come. When you feel stuck in a rut you must learn to breathe,
reset and revisit your goals. What is it that you’re going for in
business and in life? A simple readjustment and a brief ‘time out’ can
dramatically move you forward like you never thought possible.

Now is your time to start therapy, or end toxic friendships, or work on
your short fuse, or examine how your childhood traumas are holding you
back from making a commitment. I don’t know. Whatever it is, don’t wait
until you have someone phenomenal in your life and then drop that stuff
in their lap, hoping they’ll help you do the emotional labor.


Revel in potential

Win Through Persistence

One of the best parts about being single is how every single night out,
every single trip to the grocery store, and every single vacation feels
laden with hope. You might just smooch a hottie! You might even go home
with a hottie! This could be it! The night the sexy bartender at your
favorite bar finally realizes that they’ve been in love with you and
your impressive drink order all along!


Revel in that. Because along with that hope often come disappointments,
which are much easier to focus on. Once you’re dating someone, nights
out are pretty similar to nights in. What are you doing at a bar other
than paying more for alcohol? Are you really making an effort to meet
new people (as friends!) at the bar, or are you, like most relationship
people, kind of just floating in contentment? It’s lovely if you are out
there just to meet new people platonically, but be honest: A night out
will never be as exciting as when you’re single and you’ve bought into
the idea that “anything can happen.”

Winston Churchill said, “If you have an important point to make, don’t
try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then
come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time – a tremendous
whack.” Persistence is the key if you want to win. I’ve felt like giving
up many times during my entrepreneurial journey and the persistence to
make things happen has kept me going. Understanding and truly believing
that persistence delivers results will keep you moving forward.


Share Your Goals


You wake up and decide that today is the day you’ll quit smoking. You
start the morning strong, but don’t want to mention it to anyone at work
in case you feel like one at afternoon tea. Find an ‘accountability
buddy’ to keep you on track. Sure, this is scary, but it ensures you
deliver on your promise to yourself. Make sure the other person will
show you some tough love. This will keep you honest and continually
taking action.


Acknowledge Challenges


Oh yes, there will be tough times – but you already know this. When you
feel like giving up because it’s too tough, it’s not a surprise as you
knew the journey wouldn’t be full of rainbows and bunnies. Acknowledge
the challenge, embrace it, learn what you can and power on!


Get Happy


We all get in a funk every now and again. That’s just the way we’re
built. But, instead of lying on the sofa eating ice cream out of the tub
and putting on your favorite sitcom, get happy! Think back to the last
time you were really thriving in your life. Think about what you were
doing and make that happen again!


Be Proud


Sometimes we forget to stop and smell the flowers. Along those lines, we
also forget to celebrate the victories our efforts have created. Be
proud of where you have come from and what you’ve achieved. Every 90
days, review the last three months, and soak up your achievements no
matter how small they are.


The next time you feel like giving up, ask yourself if you’ve done
everything possible in your current situation to maximize the
opportunity. Have you experienced all the learnings, happiness and pain
associated with what you want to achieve? If the answer is no, then keep
going until you have!